A Study In "Strong"
I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be strong in this
life. The word “strong” conjures up lots of images in our minds. In our success/media-driven society, strength
is often equated with performance as we celebrate entertainers, sports heroes, artists,
business gurus, and the "winners" of the world. There’s an
awards show, reality show, or contest for just about everything under the
sun. We equate visible success with personal
strength and worth. Although we should
all aspire to aim high and reach our goals in life, I think we put too much
emphasis on strength in performance. I believe that real strength is
something unseen, and has more to do with who we are than what we do.
Sometimes being strong requires that we fight with everything we are
for what we want and need, we fight for the sake of others, or we fight just to
survive. We wrestle, we struggle, and we push forward to overcome our
circumstances. We hurl our minds, bodies and souls headlong into an
unavoidable battle, and we usually discover that we are much stronger than we
ever imagined we could be. Being strong
means being a warrior.
Sometimes being strong means learning to be real. It means admitting faults and failures, and
trying to make changes in our lives over time. It takes incredible
strength and courage to be honest with ourselves and others, and to forgive
ourselves and others. It requires strength to share our real feelings and
to communicate them in a loving, respectful way. Humility and honesty are
attributes of the strong, while the weak and cowardly retreat quickly to a
position of self-defense, vicious attack, and self-preservation. The
strong are willing to face the truth even if it is painful, while the weak are
only willing to accept the things they want, things that personally benefit
them and give them comfort. The strong are wise and giving, the weak are
fearful and selfish. I have admittedly spent time in both camps
during my life, and I'm learning (the hard way) what it really means to be a
strong person. Being strong means being authentic.
As I get older, I am learning that the greatest challenges we face
in life are not always about fights, failures or forgiving. The hardest
thing we must do at times is to "let go". To pry our hands and
hearts from things we have held to for years, sometimes for a lifetime.
When our own peace and emotional growth - or that of another person -
requires that we let go of dreams, of plans, of expectations, of our rights,
and even of the need to be understood, liked, and loved by others, I believe
this requires the greatest strength of all.
Sometimes we have to let go of anger and resentment, when clinging
to it has made us feel falsely empowered. We have to let go of negative emotions, fears, behaviors,
obsessions, or thoughts that keep us in a dark place, and hold us hostage when
we need to be free. Sometimes we even have to let go of good things,
because the season of those good things has come to an end. Loved ones
who die, children who grow up and move on, pets who pass away, careers that end,
homes and places we must say goodbye to, sometimes we have to accept that these changes are beyond our control, and we must learn to let these things go. Letting go is often the hardest thing we have
ever done. Love relationships can also change over time, and we find that
even human love can have a beginning and an end. What began as something
good sometimes alters and re-shapes into something that is no longer good for
us, and we must release it in order to move on. We find ourselves having
to let go of things and people we never imagined we would ever have to live
without. Whether these things are ripped from us against our will, or we
choose to release them, we have to dig deep and find the strength to let go. We often equate being strong with “holding
on”. But
sometimes being strong means letting go.
We will always find plenty of "friends" who will walk with
us in the sunshine, when we are feeling strong, happy and successful, and life
is good. Everybody loves a strong, happy person! But it is a rare thing indeed to have the
love and support of another soul in the quiet battle of "letting go".
There are few friends who will stand by you in that invisible, quiet
fight who will listen to your heart, hold your hand, and love you enough to
help you find your strength. Many people want to join you in the sunshine
and benefit from your strong spirit, but they tend to disappear when you approach the dark, cold valley. The
souls who are willing to walk with you into the darkness are the most loyal
friends of all. These are the people we really trust. These are the ones who will remain our
faithful companions until we safely reach the other side. These are the
ones who save us from despair, save us from ourselves, and they are priceless
treasures to us. Real friends help us
find our strength in the darkest hour.
We have all been disappointed and hurt by someone important in our
lives. We have all experienced shattered
dreams and unrealized potential. We have
all had financial, health and relationship setbacks at some point in life. We have all made choices that have resulted
in consequences that seem insurmountable.
We have all had the rug pulled out from under us and have found
ourselves face down on the floor. We all have to be strong in life. There is no other option.
Remember this: We ARE strong
enough to fight life’s battles, to face the truth, to forgive, to deal with
consequences, and to let go. And, when we finally let go, our hands will then be free to reach for the joy that awaits us. We cannot reach for a joyful future if we are holding on
to a painful past.
Be strong. Be authentic. Let go. Find your joy.
