PROTECTING YOURSELF from TOXIC PEOPLE

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you have probably surmised that I am currently dealing with a small group of cruel, toxic people in my personal life. I'm an empath by nature, with emotional radar and intuition that would rival the greatest psychic! I am also strong and analytic, and do not like to be led by my emotions. I rarely let negative emotions show, although sometimes I feel them intensely, especially when my radar picks up on negativity in others. I try to only share positive energy, and I try to process the negative stuff internally. However, I have failed miserably in trying to handle this situation within myself. It's too much for me, and there are many days I feel utterly defeated.

I'm trying to gain as much counsel right now from friends, counselors, and insightful reading material as possible, because I am baffled by these toxic people. I honestly just don't get it, and I don't know how to handle it. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this kind of hatred and the cruel attack of my character and my spirit.

There is plenty of content in cyberland which offers advice on dealing with toxic people in the workplace. But what about toxic people who exist in your personal life? The work people don't matter. I can leave work stuff at work. But the people in your personal life have the power to really hurt you. These are the people who should love you, not hate you. And although I hate to admit it, they are hurting me.

I came across an article that seems to address my challenges, and I wanted to share some insight with you that I've gleaned from this little gem. Sometimes you read the right words at the right time, and every word written here seems to speak directly to my situation. The article is 10 Intelligent Ways to Deal with The Most Common Types of Toxic People from iheartintelligence.com by Monique Abrams. The things I'm sharing today come directly from this article.

Let's start with where I am today, suffering the consequences of the toxic people in my life. It's simple. Toxic people poison you, and poison makes you sick. The poison usually manifests itself through stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. There are hundreds of articles and books on the topic of the physical, mental and emotional effects of stress and anxiety, so I won't elaborate here, except to say that it's as lethal as a poisonous snake bite.

Unfortunately, knowing that someone is toxic and even why someone is toxic doesn't really arm you with the tools to deal with them effectively. Sociopathic, narcissistic, selfish, angry, evil, intolerant people are the way they are because of a variety of reasons: chemical imbalance issues, tragedy in their lives, overindulgence by parents, lack of accountability in their lives, mental illness, abuse, the list goes on and on. It doesn't really matter why they are toxic. I cannot change anyone - each of us can change ourselves with the will to change, and with lots of tools and help. What matters to me is learning to minimize the effects of toxic people on me, and those I care about.

Here are 10 Intelligent Ways to Deal with the Most Common Types of Toxic People.

1. Eliminate or evaluate. Toxic people are charismatic, thrive on creating chaos, and prey on weaker people. If they cannot get you to join their point of view, you become their enemy. To them, you exist only to suit their needs. Limit your exposure, and never ever trust them.

2. Do not ignore their bad behavior. Don't stick your head in the sand and pretend it isn't happening, because it's not going away simply because your eyes are closed. Acknowledge their behavior and do not take the Pollyanna approach. They are real, their poison is real, and the stress they are causing you and others is real. It is unlikely that you can reason with them directly, but you can be on your guard and always expect the worst from them.

3. Seek counsel and vent to friends. Your support people know you, they see the chinks in your armor and the weaknesses in your approach. They can help you see alternate perspectives in your situation. Seek insight from people who are wise and not emotionally invested in the situation. Do not seek counsel from people who get even angrier than you are and rush to your immediate defense. This only fuels your painful stress and does not offer solutions.

4. Set limits and establish boundaries. This goes without saying, but it is especially important if the toxic people are in your family, extended family, friend group, or if they are your life partner and live with you. If they are constant complainers, ask them what they plan to do to fix the problem. If they are passive-aggressive in their negativity, draw the poison into the light and don't let them punish you with "I'm fine". "There's nothing wrong." "It doesn't matter anyway." These are passive-aggressive phrases that toxic people use to try and punish you, indirectly shaming and blaming you for things you don't even know about.

5. Value self-awareness. Intelligent people who are dealing with toxic people need to know when to take a time-out, when to calm down before responding, when to seek counsel, and when to regroup. It's okay to do these things to take care of yourself.

6. Become thick-skinned. This is a rather controversial statement, as it appears to contradict the wisdom and kindness of sensitivity and empathy. However, if you are an antenna picking up on everything around you, you are a prime target for a toxic person. Easy prey. Thick-skinned people know what to let in and what not to allow into their bubble. They learn not to take things personally, especially cruelty from toxic people. Healthy balance is the goal. Learn to be thin-skinned and thick-skinned based on whom you can trust, and when each will be helpful, not hurtful.

7. Ask questions, listen, and wait. Being in the spotlight is a toxic person's weakness! They cannot hide their horrible attitude and cruelty when they're in the spotlight. They do their best work in the dark, through gossip, and in the "dark alley" conversations, not in public. Put truth and reason on the pedestal where you call them out on their indiscretions. They will respond one of two ways: 1) They will explode, embarrass, and expose themselves as they erupt and spew their poison, or 2) They will offer a long stream of bad excuses for bad choices that everyone will recognize as false. Either way, if you have to enter confrontation, ask direct questions without responding in kind and attacking them. This is a difficult skill to develop, but can be key to managing toxic people in your life.

8. Choose your battles. Fight only when it is worth fighting for. There are some situations that require putting the toxic person in their place before they hurt others by spreading their chaos. If you don't protect the people you care about, you are actually enabling them and contributing to their toxicity. This should not be a primal, fight or flight response, but rather a thoughtful, firm stance rooted in reason and strength, not rooted in pain or defensiveness. Truth and reason are your greatest tools.

9. Focus on the end goals. A toxic person can take you on a long journey (sometimes years, decades, or a lifetime) of emotional instability. When you finally resurface, you find yourself asking, "How did I end up here?". Remember, the end goal is to rid yourself of the poison, and creating immunity to that poison. Remember that in the moments of your worst pain and anger, this too shall pass. Those feelings will not last forever, and you will rise above it and move on. You will be a whole, happy person regardless of how they choose to live and behave.

10. Forgive, but do not forget. Forgiveness does not require trust. Forgiveness will keep you from developing bitterness, resentment, and hate in your own heart. You do not want to become like them. Toxic people work very hard to create other toxic zombies with their poison. You can choose to forgive them, and you can choose to let it go. However, you never need trust them again. You never have to forget the pain and stress they caused you, and you never have to allow it back into your life. You have the power to choose your path. Toxic people only have as much power as you allow them to have.

Remember, toxic people will stop at nothing to hurt others. They lie, they cheat, they abuse, they hit below the belt, they spew venom, and their goal is to get as many people as possible to feel exactly like they do so that they feel supported. It's like zombies creating other zombies. It's like Nazis recruiting other Nazis.

I am working to develop my "superhero" empathic powers to the point of being unaffected by toxic people. I have a lot to learn, but I'm on my way. These 10 tips really helped me, and I hope they help you as well.

Darkness is fragile and weak. Even the smallest light chases it away.

Let's let our light shine in the darkness!

I am a firm believer that adaptability is critical to a person's success in their personal life, work life, and relationships. An intelligence quotient (IQ) is a score derived from one of several standardized tests designed to access intelligence. However, an emotional quotient (EQ) or emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. A person's EQ is a much bigger factor in determining life success than their IQ. While IQ reveals a person's ability to learn, their EQ reveals their ability to adapt and thrive. EQ is uniquely tied to adaptability - the ability to adapt to life changes. A person's ability to see multiple options, solutions, and pathways is key to adaptability and a high EQ.

There are degrees of adaptability. Some people were born with the innate ability to adapt quickly and easily to changes in life while others come into the world with a rigid, inflexible personality. Most of us fall somewhere in between these extremes, but you may have come across a "classic non-adapter" or two in your life. Dealing with a "non-adapter" or "low-flex" person can be challenging, especially if that person is a parent, life partner or spouse, child, sibling, teacher, coach, manager, friend, or colleague. For the sake of identification, we will use the terms "low-flex", "non-adapter/adaptive", and "inflexible" to describe the same type of person who struggles with change more than the average bear.

Let's first identify non-adaptive, low-flex behaviors, then we'll look at ways to deal with people who struggle with inflexibility. Lastly, we'll discuss how the non-adapter can change, and and how they can actually learn, over time, to let go of their rigid behaviors and expectations. There is hope for those who struggle with adaptability, and change IS possible!

The classic non-adapter can be described this way:

• Obsessive behaviors such as repetition of words or actions
• Fidgeting, uncontrolled movements (tics) such as blinking or muscular twitches, constant movement
• Inability to relax
• Overreaction to pain
• Obsessively following routines or schedules
• Perfectionism
• Ritualistic behaviors
• The "Micromanager" of the workplace
• Rigidity in attitude, opinion, and perception. )Narrow-mindedness).
• Low stress tolerance levels, easily irritated, poor anger control, frequent outbursts.
• Makes decisions based on fears rather than facts.
• Easily annoyed by people or circumstances.
• Intolerant of others.
• Frequently complains, regardless of whether there is an actual crisis (fatal accident, illness, terminal diagnosis), or simply if little things don't go their way. (Running late, heavy traffic, spilled coffee, etc.). 
• Unrealistic expectations of themselves and others.
• Controlling in relationships, both personal and professional. 
• Sense of entitlement.
• Obsessive thoughts that frequently follow worst-case scenarios.
• Compulsions - checking things frequently (The time, to-do lists, bank accounts, social media, the status and behavior of friends and enemies, cleaning and re-cleaning things, etc.).
• Frequently a "no" person, always listing reasons why other's plans and ideas won't work, and why their own plans will likely fail.
• Is not a team player, prefers to work independently
• Likes to do the work, then plays the martyr and complains that no one helps them.
• Withholds affection
• Behaves like a victim.
• Low level of self confidence but hides it with over-confident behavior.
• Often has extreme moral and religious views and imposes these on others.
• Blames others or themselves for their own failures, disappointments, and negative feelings. (Nothing is ever their fault, OR everything is always their fault). 
• Often moody and frequently depressed.
• Over thinks simple things.
• Judgmental.
• Overly skeptical of the motives of others, and the world in general.
• Tries to please everyone but in the end pleases no one.
• Resists progress, even when it would benefit them personally.
• Is not eager to try new things, new experiences, new places, new ways of doing things, or new relationships. Becomes easily angered if their "familiar things" are not available (favorite chair, drink, TV show, food item, reporting techniques, etc.). 
• Is offended by creative, flexible personality types.
• Often combative and frequently initiates fights and arguments.
• Self absorbed, not concerned with the feelings or ideas of others. Narcissistic.
• Incapable of being happy, even when good things happen. Don't allow themselves to experience joy because they expect bad things to happen to them.
• Huge trust issues with people, circumstances, and outcomes.

While most of us exhibit some of these characteristics, people who exhibit most or all of these traits are often diagnosed with personality disorders or mental illnesses including Autism, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Anakastic Personality Disorder (being obsessed with lists, details, rules, and over-organization). People diagnosed with one or more of these disorders usually have the inability to adapt, change, or "roll with it". However, you don't have to have a disorder to be inflexible. The causes can be a combination of intrinsic personality traits combined with life's challenges, experiences, and disappointments.

Life is constantly changing. Loved ones die, babies are born, people fall in love, people break up, people lose jobs and change jobs, people are given unexpected, heavy responsibilities, accidents happen, bones break, cars break, computers break, roofs leak, promises are broken, planes don't run on time, people get sick, financial burdens occur, people disappoint you. These are just a few of life's unexpected changes, but there are many, many more. The only thing certain about life is that change is constant. If you expect things to stay the way they are, just wait five minutes. It's sure to change, and things rarely go quite like you think they will.

How do you deal with an inflexible person?
Inflexible people often communicate in brusque, impatient, defensive ways. They can be insensitive and downright rude, and often don't even realize they are offending others. Here are a few tips in dealing with Mr. or Ms. Inflexible!

1. Don't become inflexible yourself. Don't match their tone, attitude, or level of stubbornness. You may be tempted to go there, but don't take the bait.

2. Try and deal with them on an unemotional level. Stick to the facts, even if they become overly emotional. Don't reflect or match their level of emotion. Speak in soft, even, firm tones, look them in the eye, and try to appear overly calm (even if they are upset and driving you crazy). 

3. When you disagree, do it assertively and respectfully. You can even say things like, "I understand how you feel, but I respectfully disagree. Here's why...". If you need them to make a change or do something, use phrases like, "Are you willing to _____" or "Will you consider _____ ". This reminds them that they actually do have choices. Most non-adapters behave the way they do because they feel they have no choice but to do it one single way, THEIR way. They rarely see multiple solutions, options, or multiple sides of a problem.

4. Listen to what they say, and repeat it back to them. "So what I hear you saying is, you are upset because _______. Is that right?". Most non-adapters live in a constant state of angst, and rarely even understand why they feel the way they do. This helps to focus the conversation to the issue at hand rather than allowing conversations to rabbit-trail toward every subject under the sun. 

5. Do not let inflexible people dominate group discussions. You may have to monitor this overbearing personality in a group discussion. Often, inflexible people intimidate other people who don't know how to handle them. Don't be one of the victims of their group control. Set clear boundaries at the start of a meeting or group discussion. If someone is dominating a conversation, say things like, "I need you to hold your questions/comments until the end of the discussion. Please write them down and we'll come back to you before we close. We want to give everyone a chance to respond". If the low-flexer simply won't let an issue go and holds everyone hostage with their attitude, make a meeting rule that only positive, constructive comments are permitted. If someone has negative or critical words to share, they can submit them to the facilitator in writing before or after the meeting. I worked for an organization who had two people that were simply not permitted to attend certain meetings because of their lack of flexibility, patience, respect, and understanding of the ideas of others. If they can't play nicely, they are not allowed on the playground. Period. No bullies allowed.

6. Adapt to them. They will lash out like caged animals if they feel pressured. Remember, they are incapable of being flexible, and they think they are always right. It's best to offer them 2 or 3 options and solutions in which you can adapt to their needs. 

7. Accept, embrace, and answer their discomforts, complaints, and fears. Affirm that you hear them, understand them, and empathize, even if you think it's ridiculous. Do not tell them everything will work out, all will be fine, etc. They will not believe you, and you will only get more outbursts from them when you make those comments. They need to be validated, and to be reassured that something will be done about their issue(s). 

8. Use the 3 to 1 rule. Say three positive things for every one of their negative comments. Often this sounds a lot like you're just "looking on the bright side", which is exactly what you are doing. They can only see dark, narrow outcomes. Show them that positive outcomes are possible.

9. Admire their strengths. Remind them that their dependability, consistency, and reliability bring stability and strength to your relationship or organization. They usually need more affirmation than the average person, and need to feel valued and appreciated.

10. Establish rituals and routines that you can both live with. Low-flex individuals need to feel like their expectations will be met, so create norms that they can count on. When most of life is manageable, it's easier to handle the things you can't control. 

Can a low-flex, non-adapter really change? How is that possible?
Do you identify as a low-flex personality? Would people closest to you describe you as having great difficulty adapting to life changes? Here are a few things you can do to begin to evolve toward a more flexible you. Remember, you'll be happier and more at peace when you can learn to embrace change rather than fight it. 

1. Stop whining. When something unexpected happens, say, "I'll handle it" rather than complaining about why it happened, who's fault it is, why it has upset you, how this always happens to you, and why life is unfair. Just shut-up and handle it! They say the size of your character is a reflection of the size of the things that bother you. Were you diagnosed with cancer today? Did you suddenly lose your job? Did a loved one die today in an accident or from illness? Then you have a right to be upset and complain. However, if you burned your toast, if someone was rude to you, if traffic was bad, if your flight was cancelled, or if you are having a bad hair day, these are not whine-worthy topics. Keep your complaints to yourself and deal with it.

2. Eliminate "right and wrong" from your vocabulary and your attitude. In fact, eliminate these extremes from your life altogether. Outside of things like murder, cruelty, hate, and intolerance, there is very little that is truly black and white in this world. Try and stop viewing everything in extremes. We live in a gray world, not a black and white one. 

3. Develop coping mechanisms. How do you "change your channel"? Go for a walk, turn off all of your screens and get outside. Also, you can spend time that person who always makes you feel better about you! Do something kind for someone else, like surprise someone in need with a home cooked meal, or a gift they may need or want. Doing things for yourself and others improves your outlook on life and reminds you that change is not only imminent, it's actually positive.

4. Be open to change. Okay, I realize that's the whole point, but if you don't open your heart, soul, and mind to change, it cannot happen. Don't close your heart, your mind, or your soul to new things. Where you are normally opinionated and closed minded, try and be open and receptive.

5. When plan A doesn't work, use the rest of the alphabet! Let's face it, when does plan A ever actually work? Rarely, if at all. Have a plan B, C, D, E, F, and G to Z ready to go. When you make a plan, look for multiple solutions rather than only one. There are always multiple paths to a good solution. Think outside the box.

6. Use positive self-talk. Do you call yourself names under your breath? Are you chronically impatient? Do you constantly curse to yourself, criticize yourself and others, and make negative comments in your head about what is happening around you? STOP IT. Replace that negative self talk with truth talk. Tell yourself you can do it. (Sometimes I actually say aloud, 'Wendy, you've GOT THIS.'  Forgive yourself and others. You are human, and no one is perfect.

7. Don't blame yourself. Low-flexers frequently carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Newsflash: the world will not spin off of its axis if you don't accomplish everything on your to-do list today. The sun will rise tomorrow even if that person you counted on let's you down, doesn't show for the big meeting, or loses money for your business. Life goes on. Again, always forgive yourself and others, and move forward toward new beginnings. 

8. Dream big. Let yourself dream a little! What if money, education, and circumstances were not obstacles for you. How would you invest your time and your life? What would your life look like? What career would you like to have? Would you have a significant other, and what would that relationship look like? What kinds of people would be your friends? What hobbies would your dream-life have? Think about it, visualize it, and begin to make it happen. You have choices.

9. Develop life balance. Learn how to balance your life by becoming grounded, clear-headed, calm, and inspired. Fill your life with the things and people that provide balance in your life. Take a yoga class. Read a good book. Talk to a life coach or counselor. Attend a motivational seminar. Get plenty of sleep, drink less alcohol, and eat a healthy diet. All of these things contribute to life balance. Nobody has it all together all the time, and we need balance to keep us on track during the tough times.

10. Stop waiting! Life is happening now! Stop telling yourself you'll be happy when this or that happens - when you get that promotion, when you find your soul mate, when you make that big sale, when you're out of debt, when you have kids, when the kids are grown, when you retire, when you build your dream home, when you lose that 20 pounds - stop waiting to have fun and be happy, and BE HAPPY NOW! 

Low-flex, non-adaptable people are not bad people. In fact, most of them are very good people who desire to do the right thing, please others, and follow the rules. They just can't help but be rigid. It's in their DNA.

Let's learn to work with, live with, and love the low-flexers.

Sometimes the difficult people are the ones who need our love and understanding the most.

ALL ABOUT G.R.I.T.S. (Girls Raised In The South)

The first thing we should cover is which U.S. states comprise "The South" as Southerners see it. The South includes Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Louisiana. Florida is NOT "The South". Neither are Texas, Missouri, Delaware, or Washington DC. Why? I have my suspicions, but I won't mention them here. Most true Southerners will agree with me on this list.

The thing about G.R.I.T.S. is that we're not like everybody else, and we are often misunderstood. Southern drawls don't equate to stupidity, lack of education, any particular political affiliation, a lack of indoor plumbing, being the quiet little wives of "good ole boys", or giant civil war hoop skirts. Southern women are politicians, scientists, educators, moms, astronauts, architects, and engineers. Yet we cherish our Southern heritage, and try to blend that heritage with our modern day world views.

Here are a few things you may not know about G.R.I.T.S.

·      We say “bless your heart” a lot. (FYI, this is usually code for “you’re an idiot”.)

·      We monogram EVERY DAMN THING. Umbrellas, underwear, socks – you name it, we put our initials on it. Why? Because it belongs to us, that’s why.

·      We never ever ever wear white shoes or pants before Easter or after Labor Day. This is a sin of gigantic proportion.

·      You might just find us yuckin’ it up at the local tavern on Saturday night and singing in the church choir on Sunday morning. We love whiskey and we love Jesus. These things are not incongruent.

·      We make our kids address adults as “Ma’am and Sir”, and we never allow our children to call adults by their first names. The only exceptions are close family friends whom you refer to as “Miss X” or Mr. X”. I grew up with Miss Pat and Mr. Steve, and Mr. Gary and Miss Carol Jean.

·      We love calling our children by their first AND middle names, like it was one single name. Cindy Lou, Kelly Ann, Misty Ray, Daisy Mae, Bobby Joe, Billy Bob, Tommy Ray, Willie Jack, etc. I actually had an uncle named Jim Ed. And we called him… wait for it… Jim Ed.

·      We love florals, plaids, houndstooth, stripes, and bright, bold colors. We are Southern, we are here, and you shall not miss us when we enter a room.

·      We love big hair, regardless of what hairstyle we have or what decade it happens to be. We also love big earrings and jewelry to go with our great big hair.

·      We say Momma and Daddy, not Mom and Dad. If you call your parents Mom and Dad, you’re probably not from around here.

·      We’re soft on the outside, fierce on the inside. Don’t mess with our people, our siblings, our neighbor’s little sister. And whatever you do, don’t lie to us. We are equal parts Scarlett O’Hara and Erin Brockovich, and we will BURY YOU as we defend our love ones to the death. We do this without ever breaking a sweat or a nail.

·      We despise rude, disrespectful manners. THOU SHALT NOT behave rudely. That is all.

·      We name our kids after our Mommas and our Daddys. This is expected, regardless of whatever unusual name your Momma had. Sadly, I broke this rule when naming my own children. (But my children are Yankees, so it’s okay, and my family has forgiven me.)

·      Everyone who lives north of the Mason-Dixon is a Yankee. There is no Midwest, Northeast, Northwest, Southwest – they are all just Yankees.

·      We give grandparents bizarre names that are a badge of honor. Mimi & Big Daddy, Meemaw & Sugar Bear, Lovie & Mister, Cookie and Babe, Diamond & Tank , Big Momma & Geepaw, Mamaw & Big Sam, Bunny and Honey. (These are all actual grandparents I know personally.) My own great grandmother was called Mud. (Not kidding). Another friend’s grandmother was Kiki, and Kiki’s husbands kept passing on, and she kept marrying new ones. Her original husband was Papaw, and the ones who followed became 2Paw, 3Paw, and 4Paw. Creative, don’t you think?

·      We bake casseroles using combinations of things you would never expect. We also use a lot of Cream of Mushroom Soup. It tends to subdue whatever you’ve got writhing in the pan.

·      We do not stand around fainting, clutching our pearls, and drinking mint juleps while everyone else does hard labor. Oh no. We get our hands dirty, we dig in, and we “get ‘er done”. You will find us mowing lawns, scrubbing floors, refinishing our yard sale dressers, and making sure errrbody’s clean, well fed, and prepared for life.

·      We play Bunco. It involves dice, prizes and much socializing. Google it.

·      We can fish and shoot. Personally, I have never shot any living thing, but I can skeet shoot, and catch bass all day long.

·      WE UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL. We can tell you when the ref should have called “holding”, we can name the players and coaches of our favorite teams, and tell you the winner of the 1983 Cotton Bowl. SEC football is in our blood, and Saturdays in the fall are devoted to tail-gaiting and hollering. We do not think a football woman’s only place is on the cheerleading squad, or breeding players. Rather, we believe that football would be much more competitive if women were coaching teams.

·      We call all brands of carbonated soda “Coke”. It could be Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Ginger Ale… but to us it’s all Coke.

·      We take lots and lots and lots of pictures. We create shrines in our houses with our many photos. Friends and family reign supreme, and you will find them in every corner and every wall of our homes.

·      Lastly, we are loyal to our people till the day we die. This includes our families, every 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th cousin, our middle school gym teacher, our high school basketball team and or cheer squad, our college sororities, and every single person we grew up with. It doesn’t matter if you we were true-blue friends back in the day or not, we’re FAMILY, we’ve got history, and we’ve got each other’s back.

And this is how Girls Raised In The South do thangs, y’all.

THANK YOU.

To those of you who give of yourselves so others may live

Who choose to be kind when you are treated unkindly

Who forgive when it is undeserved and no one cares

Who let others take credit when you deserve the accolades

You are my grace. Thank you.

To those of you who fail and try and fail and try again

Who grab the dragon by the tail when all odds are against you

Who fight for those who cannot fight for themselves

Who defend the honor of the weak and the broken

You are my strength.  Thank you.

To those of you who use your gifts for good

Who serve neither your ego nor your own desires

Who serve the world around you

Who see the greater good, the greater life, the greater love

You are my gift. Thank you.

To those of you who are falsely accused and wrongly judged

Who are ridiculed and shamed

Who are tortured by the hate and jealousy of the unenlightened

Who hurt and cry alone in the corners of your life

You are my courage. Thank you.

To those of you who laugh at the storms (you’ve been through them before)

Who find joy after the rain

Who see new beginnings in every sunrise

Who adore the laugh of a child and the smell of a forest

You are my inspiration. Thank you.

To those of you who cannot remember

What it feels like to be well and happy

Who suffer by day and by night in unspeakable pain

Who share your love even in your sickness

You are my healing. Thank you.

To those of you who remind me daily

That good triumphs over evil

That light brightens the darkness

That love conquers all

You are my hope.

Thank you.