DREAM BIG!

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.”  CS Lewis

When I hear the word “dream”, dozens of popular songs come to mind that include the words dream or dreaming.  My band, The Rain Crows produced a CD in 2013 entitled "Dream Of Flying Dream", and the title song is about dreaming of flying!  Dreams are a favorite subject of poets, artists, authors and songwriters. We dream when we’re sleeping, and we dream when we are awake.   Some of our dreams are a conscious effort, while others are a subconscious processing of our thoughts and emotions.  We dream of things desired and hoped for.  We dream of life beyond our present circumstances.  Dreams give us hope and a reason for living.  From far-fetched fantasies to realistic goals, dreams are essential if we are to become healthy, balanced, fulfilled human beings.

I recently created a personal “vision board” which is a way to identify your dreams and goals, and begin to make them a reality.  I had heard about vision boards for years, and have always wanted to create one.  I have read story after story about people whose dreams were brought to life as a result of starting with a vision board.  The purpose of a vision board is to remind you of your personal dreams and goals, and to keep you inspired and positive as you work toward your goals each day.  Mine includes health and fitness goals, career goals, financial goals, relationship goals, places I’d like to visit, things I’d like to own someday, things I would like to do for others, and other experiences on my bucket list.  My vision board also includes motivating quotes, key words, and photos of people and places that inspire me.  It cost about $12 to create and took less than two hours to put together.  I have read about personal vision boards like mine that you create for yourself, as well as vision boards that companies and organizations create as a group project.  My vision board is in a very visible place in my kitchen so that I can look at it every day and be reminded that dreams really can come true.  I am finding that it lifts me up on the blue days, the gray days, and the days I’m not feeling too “dreamy”!

 My vision board

Conscious dreams can express our wishes, but unconscious dreams can also express our fears.  I recently dealt with a recurring nightmare that kept cropping up over the course of a month or so.  I always had trouble remembering the details when I awakened, but the feelings that these dreams generated were the same each time.  My nightmares were very upsetting, and I would awaken with a sense of foreboding and gloom each time it happened.  I didn’t think much about it, really, other than the fact that I seemed to be having the same dream over and over again in different forms, which had never happened to me before.  During this same period of weeks, I was also having some unexplained sadness and blue feelings.  I could not identify the reason for my blue feelings, other than the fact that it’s wintertime, which is always a bit depressing for me. 

Finally, after weeks of my recurring dream, I finally had a dream that was very detailed, with specific people, places and actions that brought it all to light for me.  I realized that I had been subconsciously processing a deep fear about an upcoming event that resulted in these nightmares, and my conscious self was not even aware of it.  It had been triggered by a series of small, unimportant discussions about this event that were not at all negative, but set this fear aflame in my subconscious.  After my recurring dream became clear, I was able to deal with it head-on and talk it through with the people involved who put my mind completely at ease.  I was not even aware that I had this irrational fear until the dreams helped me identify it.  This was no doubt a purely psychological process for me, but I found it interesting that my unconscious dreams helped me process fears and feelings that I was suppressing and unaware of in my waking life.

I read a leadership book once that said, “If you do not find time each week to put your feet up and ‘dream big’ about your organization, you are probably not an effective leader.”  Translation:  if you don’t take time to develop a vision and purpose, you are just going through the motions.  You never get out of survival mode.  Effective leaders have learned the art of balancing vision and execution.  They know how to develop a vision, help others catch their vision, then work as a team to execute the vision.  When we start with a dream and a vision, we have a purpose, motivation, and energy to move forward and reach our goals.

Those of us in leadership positions in our careers have read insightful books and attended powerful seminars on leadership in the workplace.  But have you ever thought about the concept of “personal leadership”?  How many of us have taken “leadership” of our own lives, and effectively navigate our personal lives with thoughtful leadership?  We invest a great deal of time and thought into helping our children, our friends, our coworkers and businesses thrive.  We spend loads of time and energy helping others to identify and reach their dreams and goals, but what about our own personal lives?  We often stay in survival mode for years and years, where everything seems to be “have-to”, and we don’t get to the “want-to” places that we dream of.  We often feel like human hamsters running fast on our hamster wheels but not really going anywhere, still stuck in the familiar cage we call life.  Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way over and over again, yet expecting different results.  If we want different results, we must change our approach.  If we want a different approach, we must change our thinking.  I believe that it all begins with dreaming big, starting to identify what you really want, and putting a plan in place to make it happen.  How we think determines who we become and the course of our direction.

Here are some ideas to help you begin to “dream big”!

1. Be specific.  Identify your specific dreams, and form a detailed plan to reach your goals.
2. Create a vision board.
3. Start a bucket list of things you have always dreamed of doing or experiencing.  Add to the list whenever you find something new that inspires you.
4. Set aside time each week to let your mind roam free and dream.  Take a walk, a drive, or meditate in a quiet space.  Make sure you unplug your life from all technology for an hour or so, and eliminate interruptions.  Be still and listen to your heart.
5. Ask a friend or mentor to share their dreams for your life.  We are often surprised to find that others have a bigger picture of our lives than we do.
6. Take action.  Achieving your dreams doesn’t just “happen” to you, you have to take action to make it happen.
7. Believe your dreams are possible.  Inspire yourself with stories of others who have accomplished what you are trying to achieve.  If they can do it, why not you?
8. Set both short-term and long-term goals.  Reaching short-term goals will keep you encouraged as you strive to hit the bigger success marks along the way.
9. Be flexible.  You will get there, but your journey may not be quite what you expected, and it may not be the same as another person’s journey.  Some dreams are reached by taking the long, scenic route, while other dreams are reached by taking the fast highway.
10. Celebrate and share your story!  As you reach your goals, one at a time, be sure and share your story with others who will be inspired by your achievements.  We are all at a different place in the journey, and your story will help keep others moving forward.

“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

POTHOLES, PRAIRIES AND PEOPLE

I had the privilege of attending a delightful birding festival last June in Carrington, North Dakota, appropriately named the “Potholes And Prairies Birding Festival”.  Carrington is a little town located about 150 miles NW of Fargo, where the sky goes on forever, the landscape and wildlife is breathtaking, and the local folks instantly make you feel like you’re part of the family.  There are miles and miles of natural prairie land in this area of North Dakota, and natural “potholes” have formed that are actually little ponds and lakes scattered throughout the region.  It was my first time visiting North Dakota, and it far exceeded my expectations!  I had never stepped foot on an actual prairie before, and it was a life changing experience for me.   The feeling of being on a vast, open prairie is freeing and peaceful.  I tried to breathe deeply and drink in the “bigness” of it all, leaving my day-to-day worries behind.

Our birding group always walked single file to minimize our impact on the natural condition of the prairie. 

One of the many things about North Dakota that surprised me was the fact that it never became fully dark at night in mid-June.  Because we were so far north, there was a faint “midnight sun” experience like you would have in Alaska during the summer months.  It was also much warmer during the day than I had anticipated.  I understand that June weather is quite unpredictable in and around Carrington, and I was happy to have visited during a stretch of great weather.  

Sunrise in North Dakota

I attended the Potholes And Prairies Birding Festival with dear friends who were speaking and guiding at this event.  For years they had told tales of their adventures in North Dakota, and I was eager to experience it firsthand.  I had many other friends who attended Potholes And Prairies last June, and I made lots of new friends, too.  If you’ve never been to a birding festival, they are great fun!  Whether you are a veteran birder, a newbie, or something in between, festivals are a great way to learn more about birds and wildlife, enjoy the outdoors, and meet lovely, interesting people.

Back row:  Bill and Al

Front row:  Sarah, Julie, kelly, Ann, Ernie and me

 

Birding down a lonesome road

Along with the beautiful people and landscape, there were many birds to see that were totally new to me.  I had over 40 “life birds” on this trip.  For those of you who don’t speak “birder”, a “life bird” is a bird you see for the very first time in the wild.  Some birders are “listers” and keep an ongoing list of the birds they’ve seen.  Growing up in Tennessee, I had never seen birds like Wilson’s snipe, American avocet, yellow-headed blackbird, chestnut collared longspur, sora, Nelson’s sparrow, grasshopper sparrow, and many, many more.

 Wilson's snipe

yellow-headed blackbird

My favorite day of birding was the day we set out to find a large nesting colony of grebes. We were told about a marshy area nearby where supposedly 100 western grebes were nesting, which would be a rare thing to see, indeed.  The bird I most wanted to see on this trip was a Clark’s grebe, named after my ancestor William Clark (of Lewis and Clark), and it was discovered and named during the famed Lewis and Clark expedition.  Clark’s grebes are elegant birds, and I had always wanted to see one, but had only ever admired them in photographs.  I was uncertain if I would be able to see one on this trip because they are somewhat uncommon birds, even in North Dakota.  We headed out to find the grebe colony early one morning, and after an intense search and lots of madcap map mania, we finally found it!  I was moved to tears as we approached the marsh that hosted hundreds of grebes nesting in the wild.  The unmistakable sound of the mass number of grebes reached me before I could actually see them, and as they came into view, it was as if time stood still.  A truly magical moment.  I was overwhelmed with emotion as the natural scene unfolded.  There were more grebes than I could count, busily swimming and nesting and living their little grebe lives in this colony they called home.  At first glance, I only saw western grebes, identified by their red eye surrounded by a black head.  I immediately started scanning the colony to try and find a Clark’s grebe.  Unlike the more common western grebes, Clark’s grebes have a red eye that is surrounded by white.  My eyes searched wildly for my namesake bird, a bird that I had traveled far and wide to see with my own eyes.  After a few minutes of focused searching, I found my bird!  We targeted it in the spotting scope, and sure enough, there were two Clark’s grebes in my sights, one sitting on a nest while the other continued to swim back and forth, adding nesting material a little at a time.   Because these birds were nesting and not on the move, I was able to take great photos and watch their activity for a long time.  I imagined William Clark seeing this bird for the first time, and wondered if he felt the same sense of amazement and humility that I felt at that moment.

 Clark's grebe

Taking photos on the prairie

Another memorable part of my trip was playing music with my band, The Rain Crows, on the last night of the festival.  Our talented friends, Ernie Hoffert and Stephen Ingraham, joined us, and these talented musicians made a great evening even better.  While dozens of people enjoyed a picnic on that mild summer evening, our band enjoyed a night of outdoor music on the picturesque farm owned by our friends Ann and Ernie Hoffert.  Ann, along with her faithful event team and local tourism leaders, has coordinated this festival for nearly ten years.  She represents the heart and soul of Potholes And Prairies, and she and her husband Ernie seem to capture the heart and soul of North Dakota for me as well.  They are very special people, and their hospitality and generosity have brought joy to thousands of people over the years.

 Bill Thompson, Jessie Munson, Ernie Hoffert and Stephen Ingraham

Fishing with Ann Hoffert

Our evening presentations during the festival took place at the charming Chieftain Hotel and Conference Center in downtown Carrington.  It’s not every day you see a giant Native American statue greeting you in the parking lot of your hotel!

I hope you have the opportunity to visit North Dakota, and see firsthand the glory and beauty of this region of the world.  If you would like more information on the Potholes And Prairies Birding Festival, please visit their website: 

This plant is called prairie smoke and grows wild on the prairie. 

Who knows?  You might just fall in love with the potholes, prairies and people of North Dakota.  I know I did.

LIFE LESSONS

I learn most life lessons the good old fashioned way - by making mistakes and learning from them!  I sometimes wish that I could go back in time and personally counsel my younger self.  I would have so much to share with myself about not worrying, about how to invest my time and energy, and how to handle disappointment.  I wish I had known then what I know now.

My birthday is toward the end of the year, and I always try to take a good look at my life at that time, and what I've learned.  This is my "Top 30" Life Lesson List that I wrote this year on my birthday, which was posted on Facebook, and had a huge response.  I had many people write me personal notes after sharing this, so I thought I'd share it with you today.  I still struggle with many of these, but I am learning.  I don't believe in regrets, or "what-ifs" because they are a waste of time and energy.  However, I do believe that if we pay attention and let life experiences teach us, we can learn valuable life lessons when we learn them the hard way.




MY TOP 30 LIFE LESSONS:  What I've Learned So Far

30.  Attitude is more important than aptitude.
29.  Fill your mind, heart, soul and life with positive people, positive thoughts and positive actions.    Purge all negativity from your life.  Your thoughts and the company you keep shape the person you are becoming.
28.  Never miss an opportunity to give, to smile, or to go to the bathroom.
27.   Both good and bad things will happen in life.  The difference between success and failure is not what happens to you, but how you respond to it.
26.   Think for yourself.   You live with the choices you make.  Consider wise counsel, but ultimately listen to your own heart.  It's okay to say no, to say yes, or to say wait.
25.   Never ever make important decisions when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  (The HALT principle.)
24.     People are more important than projects.  Don't reduce people to the level of projects, and don't give projects the same importance as  people. 
23.   If you don't like something about your life, stop whining about it and change it.  If you can't change it, then learn the art of finding joy within your limits. You are the only person who can change your life, and you are the only person who can make you happy.
22  Spend as much time as possible in nature, with animals, with those less fortunate, with children, and with the elderly.  It will revolutionize your outlook and remind you that it's not all about you.
21.  Everyone has a creative gift within them.  Find yours, and make room in your life for creative expression.  Spend time with other people who share your creative passions.
20.  Live in the moment and be where you are.  Learn from your past, hope in the future, but don't build your home in either place, or you will miss your life. It's happening NOW.
19.   Dream big, set goals, shoot for the sun.  You just might get the moon and stars thrown in, and you'll become more confident and more empowered with every goal you reach.
18.  Forgive others, and forgive yourself.  You will never find peace apart from forgiveness.
17.  Being kind is more important than being right.  Unless you're a surgeon.
16  Laughter, hugs and kisses are life's energy.  Give and receive them generously, every day of your life. 
15.  Be the kind of person you would want  to spend every moment of every day of the rest your life with.  After all, you're actually doing that.
14.  Do something kind for someone each day who cannot repay you.
13.   Know who the "safe people" are in your life,  the people in whom you can confide and unburden your heart.  Spend time with them.  Become that friend to someone else.
12.  Do your best to work hard, keep your promises and admit when you are wrong.
11.   Face your fears and defeat them.  Most of what you are afraid of will never actually happen.  Fear is paralyzing, so keep moving forward even if you're afraid.
10.    Do the "have to" things before you do the "want to" things, but make sure you always make time for the "want to" things. 
9.  The root of unhappiness and discontentment is comparison and disappointment. Stop comparing yourself to others and adjust your expectations.
8,  Happy people are grateful, thankful people.  Keep a gratitude list going at all times, and begin each day by reviewing your list.
7.   Don't confuse love with rescuing and helping others.  Sometimes we love best when we allow others to learn to help themselves.  The happiness of others is ultimately their responsibility.
6.  Read good books.  Experience music and the arts.  Write in a journal.  Through these things you will learn to know yourself and your world.
5.  Each year, learn a new skill, take a new adventure, do things on your bucket list.
4.  Failure is an event, not an identity.  Failure does not define you.  Everyone fails at some point in life.  Learn from it, get up and move on.
3.  Hope is the most important possession you have.  Do whatever you must to nurture it, grow it, protect it and hold on to it.  There will be times in life when it is literally all you've got.  Hopelessness and despair are enemies of the soul, and the smallest amount of hope can conquer both.
2.  Never doubt that one person can make a difference and change the world.  That's all who ever has.
1.  Love lavishly, generously, and without measure every day of your life.  The more love you give, the more you get in return.  Love changes everything. Love is all you need.

POISON PEOPLE

If someone presented you with a bottle that was clearly marked “poison” and told you to drink it, you would probably call the police and have that weirdo arrested for trying to kill you.  Or you would at least label that person “cra-cra” and promptly remove them from your life.  We learn from a very young age that poison kills, and that it doesn’t always come from a bottle.  Poison is powerful.  Poison is deadly.  Poison can make you sick for a very long time and then kill you, or it can kill you swiftly and violently, depending on how potent it is.  

I am one of those odd people with food allergies.  I really hate having food allergies, and I hate being high-maintenance.   But if I want to stay alive and feel well, I have to know what makes me sick and stay away from it.  The things other people eat every day could literally kill me.  I’ve seen dozens of doctors, nutritionists and specialists over the years to find out what I can do to heal these allergies, and the answer is always the same:  You cannot fix this.  You must avoid YOUR “poison and stick with what makes YOU healthy.”   I have to avoid things like dairy products, many fruits and nuts, some vegetables, shellfish, peanuts, chicken and beef.  (And you are probably thinking, what’s left to eat?  That’s what I’m always thinking, too!)

There is physical poison, the kind you ingest physically, but there is also heart poison that we ingest that affects our hearts, minds and souls.  The things that poison our hearts and minds don’t usually come with a big danger label.  In fact, they often come in a desirable package.  My food allergies were diagnosed later in life, when I was in my thirties.  Sometimes our “heart poison” is diagnosed later in life as well.  We finally realize that a certain experience, person, place, or thing acts like a poison to us, and we should avoid it altogether.  And we are happier, healthier people when we stay far away from these poisons.

 I am a self-professed “people-person”, an extrovert who actually loves the company of almost everybody.  I love learning about others and their life stories.  I sincerely believe that all people have value, that they have a purpose, and that all humans are full of gifts and potential.  But all people can become sick and damaged over time.  I also recognize that there are some poisonous people in my universe, and when I spend time with those people, I become heart-sick.  I literally feel sick in my soul after being around someone who is outwardly bitter, negative, angry and resentful..  A younger me always wanted to dilute the poison with goodness, and hopefully drive the poison out of the sick person like an exorcism!  But the older, wiser me has learned that doesn’t always work.  Poisonous people infect other people and make them poisonous, too.  It’s like zombies making other zombies.  

Do certain people in your life pop up in your mind when I say “poison people”?  I’m sure you know a few.  Their behavior can manifest in something as extreme as abuse, violence, and control, or something as benign as chronic moodiness, and discontentment.  And just like my food allergies, a person might be poisonous to you, but not necessarily to the world at large.  They often come in lovely packages, and we are drawn in by their “bling”.  Sometimes we become deeply connected to a person before we realize the danger signs.  When my 22 year old son was four years old, he said something very insightful.   We had just come from lunch with a new friend of mine, and her little girl.  This was someone who was pursuing a deeper friendship with me, but I had mixed feelings about it because I found her to be extremely sarcastic and she was always talking negatively about others.  But she was stunningly beautiful, so others were drawn to her.  After lunch, I asked Spencer what he thought about her and he said, “Well, I think she’s pretty.  But she’s MEAN-pretty.  I don’t like her.”  And that about summed it up.

 

How do we deal with poison people?  Here are a few tips:

·      If you have a choice to remove a poison person from your life, DO IT.  They are a cancerous, deadly presence in your life, and you should go to extremes to remove ANYTHING or ANYONE that will rob you of peace and happiness.

·      If you have to engage them, WEAR A HAZMAT SUIT!  Come prepared.  Expect them to be just as nasty as they can be, because they will be.  Have a prepared response for every possible behavior and stick to it, even if they push your buttons or you start to feel sick inside.

·      Create boundaries.  Guess what?  You don’t HAVE to let anyone mistreat you, or anyone you love.  You do not have to subject yourself to negativity.  You have a choice!  Limit your time with them by setting a clear beginning and ending time to your encounter.  If things get uncomfortable, be prepared to continue your conversation or meeting later.  If it is hurting you, get out!

·      Don’t try to fight them or fix them.  Chances are, the person you’re dealing with has been this way for years, and you’re not going to be able to change them or reason with them.  Stay calm, stay controlled, and rise above whatever negativity is being spewed on you.  One of my life phrases is, “You can’t argue with crazy.”  And you really can’t.

·      Spend lots of time with POSITIVE ENERGY people!  Who are the people who fill your tank?  Who are the people who make you feel better about you and about life, and every time you’re around them you’re happier and more energized?  Who are the people you admire and want to be more like?  Find them and spend time with them!

·      End the cycle.  People who hurt others with their negativity, either intentionally or otherwise, do so in cycles.  There is a hurtful action, then conflict, then kindness shown to earn your trust back, then we let them back in.  DON’T DO IT.  If someone is a negative presence in your life, they always will be.  You are lying to yourself if you think it will ever change – it won’t.

·      If there is someone specific who is a destructive force in your life, try writing a letter to them that you never send.  The act of communicating with them in writing gives you the opportunity to get your feelings out on paper, and it is a very healthy exercise.  You will feel better.

·      Anchor yourself in the truth.  Someone else’s negativity is really a reflection of how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you.  They have become sick inside.  Just like a person with rabies or mental illness, this behavior doesn’t reflect the healthy person they once were, it reflects the sick person they are today. 

Sadly, we all have the potential to become “poison people”.  Life throws terrible things at us at times, and we are devastated, hurt, broken.  But if we avoid the poison people and we surround ourselves with positive people and influences, we bill become BETTER, not BITTER.  

MY SOUL PLACE

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a “soul place".  A soul place is a spot where I go to think, to write in my journal, to write music, to read, to write letters, to figure things out in my head and heart.  It’s where I feed my soul.  It has always been someplace close by, someplace beautiful, and someplace I could spend hours of time recalibrating.  I have moved a lot in my lifetime, but I have always found a new soul place at each point in my journey.

 

When I was a little girl, my soul place was the window seat in my bedroom that looked out on my backyard in Bartlett, Tennessee.  It’s where I read Pride & Prejudice and Little Women, where I wrote poems, where I dreamed of life and love, where I wished on stars at night.  It looked a lot like this, but this room is much neater than mine ever was!

I now live in Lakeside-Marblehead, Ohio, a lovely little village on Lake Erie located between Cleveland and Toledo.  I like living here because it is incredibly beautiful in every season, it has wonderful birds and wildlife, and the people and town are charming.  I probably won’t live here forever, so I find myself drinking in as much of it as I can each day.  Today was a sunny heat wave (16 degrees!) so I got all bundled up and went for a walk to my soul place.

I live about 5 minutes walk from a historic lighthouse – the Marblehead Lighthouse.  It is the oldest lighthouse in continuous operation on the US side of the Great Lakes.  It has 77 steps (I’ve walked each one), it was built in 1821, and is made of Lake Erie limestone.   I took this picture today, and it is still decked out for Christmas - just like my home, unfortunately!   

This lighthouse is the most photographed place in the state of Ohio and has over 1 million visitors each year.  But that’s not why I walk there nearly each day.  I go there because it is my soul place.

I usually sit on these rocks you see in this picture, although it looks much different in the summertime.  In this very spot, I have written hundreds of pages of thoughts in my journal, I’ve written many songs, and I’ve had some life changing conversations.  Several years ago I sat here in my car during a terrible thunderstorm and had a very long talk with a dear friend.  I remember watching the waves crash over the rocks as the rain poured and the wind howled.  My heart felt a lot like that storm back then.  That talk was one of those “lighthouse” kinds of experiences that brought me much clarity, direction and peace.  I think that’s when this truly became my soul place. 

This little stretch of woods pictured above is one of my favorite places in the park.  It has a short path that winds through this wooded area, and in the springtime it offers some of the best birding in the world!   I saw 24 species of warblers in these woods last May.  (If you are one of my birding friends, you’ll be impressed.)  There are great birds in this park all year round:  shorebirds, warblers, ducks, swallows, and too many more to name.  Today I actually saw “Seven swans-a-swimming” (mute swans).  They are in the photo below, but the swans are a bit difficult to see along the waterline.

One of the songs I completed here is called “Tiny Spirit”.  I’m part of a band called The Rain Crows, and this song is the final track on our most recent CD, “Dream Of Flying Dream”.  I’ll write more about The Rain Crows later – they are an amazing, talented bunch of people, and I’m lucky to be able to make music with them.  “Tiny Spirit” was co-written by one of my band mates, Bill Thompson, but all of our recorded songs are originals, and all of The Rain Crows have a hand in songwriting.   If you’d like to listen to this song and others from our 2 CD projects, you can listen on Spotify, or you can follow this link for samples of each song:

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/theraincrows2

If you don’t have a soul place, I hope you’ll find one.

But it’s much more likely that it will find you.

You Say You Want A Resolution...

The Beatles song "Revolution" rings in my ears each time the new year rolls around, only the words change just a little:  "You say you want a RESOLUTION, well you know, we all wanna change our lives."  (You can thank me for the song-earworm later.)  And it's true!  We do want to make changes in our lives.  We want to break bad habits and develop positive ones.  We want to be better than we were last year, thinner, wealthier, more organized, more successful, happier, more positive, healthier, smarter.  We want to improve our relationships, visit new places, learn new things, pursue new hobbies, develop new skills, meet new people, spend more time doing the things we love.  We have been told that we might just accomplish these things by making an almighty list of new year's resolutions.  Enormous lists of grand plans that would likely intimidate the most heroic among us.

We are trying to become THESE people.

But in reality, we're more like THESE people.

We make the "list" on January 1st, and we break the list by January 3rd or 4th, give or take.  We give in to that cheeseburger, that swear word, that cigarette, that after-Christmas sale.  And after our inevitable failure using the "all-or-nothing" method of self-improvement, we set the list aflame (with a bit of relief and self loathing), and carry on our lives as flawed humans.  But deep down, we're wishing we could succeed at changing something.  Something that would make us feel better about ourselves.

But we've forgotten the biggest secret of all.  

We've forgotten that real change is not about lots of huge, radical life-changes we need to make, it's really about very small, very consistent changes that are not so painful.  It's a small rudder that steers a large ship.  And focusing on one or two small changes is not so daunting, is it?  

So, here is my "Wenshine 2014 Challenge" for anyone who has already made (and broken) their list of resolutions for 2014!  Just keepin' it real y'all, you know who you are.  This is what I call the 1-2-3 principle.  (Yes, I made it up, so don't Google it because it's not there).  But it WORKS! 

1.  Pick ONE thing you'd like to accomplish, change or improve this year.  Just one!

2.  Now that you've selected the "one thing", pick TWO things that you know you need to "give-up" in order to begin this change.  Remember, you can't grab hold of something wonderful and new while you're holding on to the old stuff.  What are two things - only two - that you need to let go of?

3.  Okay, now (this is the FUN part!) pick 2 replacements + 1 reward = 3. Here's how:  If you give up a soft drink, replace it with water.  If you give up 30 minutes of sleep, replace it with a morning walk or exercise.  If you give up a vacation day, replace it with an "organizing" day at home where you invite your best friend over to help you get your shizz together.  If you give up a swear word, replace it with a silly, made up word you say instead.  If you give up a negative thought, replace it with a very positive thought about the same thing.  If you give up one night a week, fill it with a class you've been wanting to take.  If you give up $50 per week to save for that dream vacation, replace it with packing your lunch or switching from your expensive cable package to Netflix.  THEN, pick your reward!  You should pick a short term reward, something you can reward yourself with after just one week of effort!  And KEEP rewarding yoursef as you go along - every week, every month, every quarter.  You deserve it.

Before you know it, you'll be feeling like a superhero!

And it's as easy as 1-2-3.