ALL ABOUT G.R.I.T.S. (Girls Raised In The South)

The first thing we should cover is which U.S. states comprise "The South" as Southerners see it. The South includes Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Louisiana. Florida is NOT "The South". Neither are Texas, Missouri, Delaware, or Washington DC. Why? I have my suspicions, but I won't mention them here. Most true Southerners will agree with me on this list.

The thing about G.R.I.T.S. is that we're not like everybody else, and we are often misunderstood. Southern drawls don't equate to stupidity, lack of education, any particular political affiliation, a lack of indoor plumbing, being the quiet little wives of "good ole boys", or giant civil war hoop skirts. Southern women are politicians, scientists, educators, moms, astronauts, architects, and engineers. Yet we cherish our Southern heritage, and try to blend that heritage with our modern day world views.

Here are a few things you may not know about G.R.I.T.S.

·      We say “bless your heart” a lot. (FYI, this is usually code for “you’re an idiot”.)

·      We monogram EVERY DAMN THING. Umbrellas, underwear, socks – you name it, we put our initials on it. Why? Because it belongs to us, that’s why.

·      We never ever ever wear white shoes or pants before Easter or after Labor Day. This is a sin of gigantic proportion.

·      You might just find us yuckin’ it up at the local tavern on Saturday night and singing in the church choir on Sunday morning. We love whiskey and we love Jesus. These things are not incongruent.

·      We make our kids address adults as “Ma’am and Sir”, and we never allow our children to call adults by their first names. The only exceptions are close family friends whom you refer to as “Miss X” or Mr. X”. I grew up with Miss Pat and Mr. Steve, and Mr. Gary and Miss Carol Jean.

·      We love calling our children by their first AND middle names, like it was one single name. Cindy Lou, Kelly Ann, Misty Ray, Daisy Mae, Bobby Joe, Billy Bob, Tommy Ray, Willie Jack, etc. I actually had an uncle named Jim Ed. And we called him… wait for it… Jim Ed.

·      We love florals, plaids, houndstooth, stripes, and bright, bold colors. We are Southern, we are here, and you shall not miss us when we enter a room.

·      We love big hair, regardless of what hairstyle we have or what decade it happens to be. We also love big earrings and jewelry to go with our great big hair.

·      We say Momma and Daddy, not Mom and Dad. If you call your parents Mom and Dad, you’re probably not from around here.

·      We’re soft on the outside, fierce on the inside. Don’t mess with our people, our siblings, our neighbor’s little sister. And whatever you do, don’t lie to us. We are equal parts Scarlett O’Hara and Erin Brockovich, and we will BURY YOU as we defend our love ones to the death. We do this without ever breaking a sweat or a nail.

·      We despise rude, disrespectful manners. THOU SHALT NOT behave rudely. That is all.

·      We name our kids after our Mommas and our Daddys. This is expected, regardless of whatever unusual name your Momma had. Sadly, I broke this rule when naming my own children. (But my children are Yankees, so it’s okay, and my family has forgiven me.)

·      Everyone who lives north of the Mason-Dixon is a Yankee. There is no Midwest, Northeast, Northwest, Southwest – they are all just Yankees.

·      We give grandparents bizarre names that are a badge of honor. Mimi & Big Daddy, Meemaw & Sugar Bear, Lovie & Mister, Cookie and Babe, Diamond & Tank , Big Momma & Geepaw, Mamaw & Big Sam, Bunny and Honey. (These are all actual grandparents I know personally.) My own great grandmother was called Mud. (Not kidding). Another friend’s grandmother was Kiki, and Kiki’s husbands kept passing on, and she kept marrying new ones. Her original husband was Papaw, and the ones who followed became 2Paw, 3Paw, and 4Paw. Creative, don’t you think?

·      We bake casseroles using combinations of things you would never expect. We also use a lot of Cream of Mushroom Soup. It tends to subdue whatever you’ve got writhing in the pan.

·      We do not stand around fainting, clutching our pearls, and drinking mint juleps while everyone else does hard labor. Oh no. We get our hands dirty, we dig in, and we “get ‘er done”. You will find us mowing lawns, scrubbing floors, refinishing our yard sale dressers, and making sure errrbody’s clean, well fed, and prepared for life.

·      We play Bunco. It involves dice, prizes and much socializing. Google it.

·      We can fish and shoot. Personally, I have never shot any living thing, but I can skeet shoot, and catch bass all day long.

·      WE UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL. We can tell you when the ref should have called “holding”, we can name the players and coaches of our favorite teams, and tell you the winner of the 1983 Cotton Bowl. SEC football is in our blood, and Saturdays in the fall are devoted to tail-gaiting and hollering. We do not think a football woman’s only place is on the cheerleading squad, or breeding players. Rather, we believe that football would be much more competitive if women were coaching teams.

·      We call all brands of carbonated soda “Coke”. It could be Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Ginger Ale… but to us it’s all Coke.

·      We take lots and lots and lots of pictures. We create shrines in our houses with our many photos. Friends and family reign supreme, and you will find them in every corner and every wall of our homes.

·      Lastly, we are loyal to our people till the day we die. This includes our families, every 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th cousin, our middle school gym teacher, our high school basketball team and or cheer squad, our college sororities, and every single person we grew up with. It doesn’t matter if you we were true-blue friends back in the day or not, we’re FAMILY, we’ve got history, and we’ve got each other’s back.

And this is how Girls Raised In The South do thangs, y’all.