A STUDY IN "STRONG"

A Study In "Strong"

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be strong in this life.  The word “strong” conjures up lots of images in our minds.  In our success/media-driven society, strength is often equated with performance as we celebrate entertainers, sports heroes, artists, business gurus, and the "winners" of the world.  There’s an awards show, reality show, or contest for just about everything under the sun.  We equate visible success with personal strength and worth.  Although we should all aspire to aim high and reach our goals in life, I think we put too much emphasis on strength in performance.  I believe that real strength is something unseen, and has more to do with who we are than what we do.

Sometimes being strong requires that we fight with everything we are for what we want and need, we fight for the sake of others, or we fight just to survive.  We wrestle, we struggle, and we push forward to overcome our circumstances.  We hurl our minds, bodies and souls headlong into an unavoidable battle, and we usually discover that we are much stronger than we ever imagined we could be.  Being strong means being a warrior.

Sometimes being strong means learning to be real.  It means admitting faults and failures, and trying to make changes in our lives over time.  It takes incredible strength and courage to be honest with ourselves and others, and to forgive ourselves and others.  It requires strength to share our real feelings and to communicate them in a loving, respectful way. Humility and honesty are attributes of the strong, while the weak and cowardly retreat quickly to a position of self-defense, vicious attack, and self-preservation.  The strong are willing to face the truth even if it is painful, while the weak are only willing to accept the things they want, things that personally benefit them and give them comfort.  The strong are wise and giving, the weak are fearful and selfish.  I have admittedly spent time in both camps during my life, and I'm learning (the hard way) what it really means to be a strong person.  Being strong means being authentic.

As I get older, I am learning that the greatest challenges we face in life are not always about fights, failures or forgiving.  The hardest thing we must do at times is to "let go".  To pry our hands and hearts from things we have held to for years, sometimes for a lifetime.  When our own peace and emotional growth - or that of another person - requires that we let go of dreams, of plans, of expectations, of our rights, and even of the need to be understood, liked, and loved by others, I believe this requires the greatest strength of all.  

Sometimes we have to let go of anger and resentment, when clinging to it has made us feel falsely empowered.  We have to let go of negative emotions, fears, behaviors, obsessions, or thoughts that keep us in a dark place, and hold us hostage when we need to be free.  Sometimes we even have to let go of good things, because the season of those good things has come to an end.  Loved ones who die, children who grow up and move on, pets who pass away, careers that end, homes and places we must say goodbye to, sometimes we have to accept that these changes are beyond our control, and we must learn to let these things go.  Letting go is often the hardest thing we have ever done.  Love relationships can also change over time, and we find that even human love can have a beginning and an end.  What began as something good sometimes alters and re-shapes into something that is no longer good for us, and we must release it in order to move on. We find ourselves having to let go of things and people we never imagined we would ever have to live without.  Whether these things are ripped from us against our will, or we choose to release them, we have to dig deep and find the strength to let go.  We often equate being strong with “holding on”.  But sometimes being strong means letting go.

We will always find plenty of "friends" who will walk with us in the sunshine, when we are feeling strong, happy and successful, and life is good.  Everybody loves a strong, happy person!  But it is a rare thing indeed to have the love and support of another soul in the quiet battle of "letting go".  There are few friends who will stand by you in that invisible, quiet fight who will listen to your heart, hold your hand, and love you enough to help you find your strength. Many people want to join you in the sunshine and benefit from your strong spirit, but they tend to disappear when you approach the dark, cold valley.  The souls who are willing to walk with you into the darkness are the most loyal friends of all.  These are the people we really trust.  These are the ones who will remain our faithful companions until we safely reach the other side.  These are the ones who save us from despair, save us from ourselves, and they are priceless treasures to us.  Real friends help us find our strength in the darkest hour.

We have all been disappointed and hurt by someone important in our lives.  We have all experienced shattered dreams and unrealized potential.  We have all had financial, health and relationship setbacks at some point in life.  We have all made choices that have resulted in consequences that seem insurmountable.  We have all had the rug pulled out from under us and have found ourselves face down on the floor. We all have to be strong in life.  There is no other option.

Remember this:  We ARE strong enough to fight life’s battles, to face the truth, to forgive, to deal with consequences, and to let go.  And, when we finally let go, our hands will then be free to reach for the joy that awaits us.  We cannot reach for a joyful future if we are holding on to a painful past.  

Be strong. Be authentic. Let go. Find your joy.