Birding. Just DON'T do it.

Whatever you do, don't become a bird watcher.

Let me explain.

As you are probably well aware, birding is for losers. You will see from my photos that birding is an extremely boring, stodgy, and dull hobby. Birding is completely uninteresting. You stand around waiting for hours for a bird or two to fly around in your direction, then you take a quick look at it and go home. Its not very exciting. It's really for people who have nothing else to do, and who have no other skills or abilities.

And if the experience of birding wasn't humdrum enough for you, just wait until you meet the other BIRDERS.

The people you meet birding are just as you might expect. Unattractive, old and shriveled up, extremely negative, always complaining, unintelligent, and non-conversational. They are dark, sinister SUPER NERDS. They have no social skills and never seem to smile. In fact, I've never seen any of them have any fun at all, nor have I ever had a moment's fun with any of them. There is very little personality represented in the birding community. It's really like a giant group of lifeless, soulless potatoes. Boneless chickens. Crash test dummies with a pulse.

Birders have no spirit of adventure, no zest for life, they do not love learning new things, and they are rather uneducated and stupid. They hate sharing helpful information, they are generally unkind and insensitive, and they despise any type creative discussion. They are selfish and never ever give advice about anything. They love to argue. They hate the world around them, they abhor the planet they occupy, and they loathe the people and creatures who inhabit it. They know very little about current events and have no interest in these things. Birders NEVER get excited about anything, especially traveling to new and interesting places, seeing beautiful birds, reptiles, animals, plants, or wildlife. They hate all that stuff. In fact, they hate life in general.

Birders are haters.

I hope you will take a moment to look at this gallery of photos and all of the miserable people I have met through bird watching. It's all so very sad. I am in most of these photos, and it is clear that my life is being destroyed by birding and the global birding community in general.

Birding is where dreams go to die.

We all are incredibly unhappy human beings and we all live horrible, useless lives.

Save yourself.

Don't become one of us.