Friday, December 26, 2014

SURVIVOR 2014!


It’s nearing the end of 2014, with only 5 days left.  If you know me at all, you know I’m usually all Polyanna, sunshine and rainbows.  I look on the bright side.  I’m a “cup is half full” kinda gal.  I’m one of the happy people, one of the positive people, and a genuine optimist.  But I can honestly say that I’ve never been so glad to see a year come to an end, as I am this one. 

It wasn’t any one tragedy that defined this year for me.  In fact, it was the first year in a long while where there wasn’t a big life change or loss in my life.  Perhaps that’s why it was such a challenge.  I moved out of survival mode and into the murky trenches.  And in the trenches I stayed, for 12 full months, in one form or another.  I camped out on the frontlines, with mud, mess, hand to hand combat, hand grenades, and constant gunfire.  I was in a war, and felt like I was losing it most of the time.  I won’t bore you with the play-by-play, because what happened is really not that important, and the reasons are not that important either.  I experienced both internal and external struggles that were overwhelming for me, and life simply would not let up.  I fought through it one day at a time, and was both a coward and a hero, depending on the day.  The point is, I SURVIVED.  (Cue Gloria Gaynor music for chick anthem.)


I wrote a song in 2011 that turned out to be much more meaningful for me in 2014.  This is the chorus:  

"And I will face the day and rise with courage
And keep pressing on 'till I find peace of mind
Learning to forgive, and know for certain
That love will carry me to the other side
And I know pain is never wasted on the wise." 

That speaks more about who I hope to become than who I actually am, but it is what I'm striving for.   Pain and struggle will make us bitter, or it will make us better, and we get to decide which person we become as a result of hardship in our lives.  I’m working to become a better person as a result of this year of struggle.  I don’t want this pain to be wasted, but instead, to learn everything I can from it so that I don’t repeat it again.

There are life lessons that cannot be learned in the sunshine, but only in the rain.  I learned lots of important things this year.  Some are lessons I thought I had learned already, but apparently I needed a total PHD in a few areas, not just an undergrad degree.

If you had a challenging year like I did, I pray that we all find ourselves better, stronger, and clearer than we were before.

Here is my "Top 25 Things I Learned in 2014".  I hope you make your own list too, and share it with me.  Let's celebrate the lessons learned, and look forward new beginning in 2015!
 

1.     I can be alone without being lonely, because I actually enjoy my own company.
2.     What other people say or think about me is none of my business.  What I think about myself, and what I say to myself is what matters most.
3.     Do not ever, under any circumstances, ignore your gut feelings.  They are usually spot-on.
4.     If you need help, ask for it.  Everyone needs help from time to time, and it’s okay to let the ones who love you know how you are, and how they can help you.
5.     Conflict reveals the true character in people.  How someone behaves under extreme stress, loss, failure and pressure reveals who they really are.  Everyone is pleasant in the sunshine, but who people are in the storms of life shows the stuff they are truly made of.
6.     The folks who are with you in the storms are your true friends.  The identity of your true friends just may surprise you.
7.     Everyone faces storms at one time or another.  If they don’t, they’re lying, or they are sociopathic.  (Either way, it’s not good.)
8.     Never allow your day-to-day happiness be determined by the happiness, approval, or decisions of another person.  No one can make you happy but YOU, and no one can make you unhappy unless you let them.
9.     Actions speak louder than words.  Words are important, but mean little if actions do not back them up.
10. We waste a lot of time comparing ourselves to others, but the truth is, most people know even less about what they’re doing in life than you do.  Live your life, take chances, and go for it.  Nobody’s got this life thing totally wired, we’re all winging it.  If people think they’ve got their “shizz” totally together, they are faking it.  I've got zero time for fake people, life’s too short.
11. Don’t spend time with people who make you feel crappy.  Just don’t.  Energy vampires do not get to rent a room in your boarding house.  Kick them out.
12. Get up, get dressed, and get moving.  No matter what. 
13. It’s never too late to start over.
14.  Fear is a tranquilizer gun that paralyzes you.  Face that 3-headed monster head-on, because you have everything within you that you need to defeat it.   It’s like the Wizard Of Oz behind the curtain.  The things you are most afraid of are much smaller than you can possibly imagine. Most fears are irrational, and 99.9% of them never come to pass.
15. If something (or someone) enriches your life, find a way to GET MORE OF THAT!  Make room for the things and people that feed your soul and bring you joy.
16. Whatever you expected to happen won’t happen at all like you expected it to.  In fact, sometimes it’s completely off the map.
17. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken.  Roll with it.
18. Every day is a blank page, and we get to write our own story.  Develop your leading character - that's you!  We can reinvent ourselves again and again.
19. If you’re not the starring role in your own life story, something is TOTALLY out of whack.  No one should be a supporting actor in their own life story.  Don’t give up your leading role to anybody else.  It’s YOUR life.
20. Mind, body, soul and spirit are completely connected.  If one area is unwell or exhausted, it affects all other areas.  Balance is the key to complete health.
21. Keeping secrets, even for the greater good, is toxic, unhealthy, demeaning, and destroys your self-esteem.  Do your best to live above the secret zone.  
22. Anything worthwhile is never, ever going to be easy.   If something is easily gained, it’s probably not worth having.  Fight hard for the things that are worth fighting for.
23. The first step to knowing what you want is learning what you DON’T want.  Determine exactly what you DON'T want, and the things you DO want will begin to take shape.
24.  It is very possible to get the flu just in time for Christmas when you are supposed to host your family for Christmas dinner.  Refer to #16 & #17 when this happens.
25. No one can drive forward successfully while staring in the rear-view mirror.  YOUR PAST DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE.  Eyes forward, keep moving.

The best is yet to come.
 
 

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