It’s nearing the end of 2014, with only 5 days left. If you know me at all, you know I’m usually
all Polyanna, sunshine and rainbows. I
look on the bright side. I’m a “cup is
half full” kinda gal. I’m one of the
happy people, one of the positive people, and a genuine optimist. But I can honestly say that I’ve never been
so glad to see a year come to an end, as I am this one.
It wasn’t any one tragedy that defined this year for
me. In fact, it was the first year in a long
while where there wasn’t a big life change or loss in my life. Perhaps that’s why it was such a
challenge. I moved out of survival mode
and into the murky trenches. And in the
trenches I stayed, for 12 full months, in one form or another. I camped out on the frontlines, with mud,
mess, hand to hand combat, hand grenades, and constant gunfire. I was in a war, and felt like I was losing it
most of the time. I won’t bore you with
the play-by-play, because what happened is really not that important, and the
reasons are not that important either. I
experienced both internal and external struggles that were overwhelming for me,
and life simply would not let up. I
fought through it one day at a time, and was both a coward and a hero,
depending on the day. The point is, I
SURVIVED. (Cue Gloria Gaynor music for
chick anthem.)
I wrote a song in 2011 that turned out to be much more meaningful for me in 2014. This is the chorus:
"And I will face the day and rise with courage
And keep pressing on 'till I find peace of mind
Learning to forgive, and know for certain
That love will carry me to the other side
And I know pain is never wasted on the wise."
That speaks more about who I hope to become than who I actually am, but it is what I'm striving for. Pain and struggle will make us bitter, or it
will make us better, and we get to decide which person we become as a result of
hardship in our lives. I’m working to
become a better person as a result of this year of struggle. I don’t want this pain to be wasted, but
instead, to learn everything I can from it so that I don’t repeat it again.
There are life lessons that cannot be learned in the sunshine,
but only in the rain. I learned lots of important things this year. Some are lessons I
thought I had learned already, but apparently I needed a total PHD in a few areas,
not just an undergrad degree.
If you had a challenging year like I did, I pray that we all find ourselves better, stronger, and clearer than we were before.
Here is my "Top 25 Things I Learned in 2014". I hope you make your own list too, and share it with me. Let's celebrate the lessons learned, and look forward new beginning in 2015!
1.
I can be alone without being lonely, because I
actually enjoy my own company.
2.
What other people say or think about me is none
of my business. What I think about
myself, and what I say to myself is what matters most.
3.
Do not ever, under any circumstances, ignore
your gut feelings. They are usually
spot-on.
4.
If you need help, ask for it. Everyone needs help from time to time, and
it’s okay to let the ones who love you know how you are, and how they can help
you.
5.
Conflict reveals the true character in
people. How someone behaves under
extreme stress, loss, failure and pressure reveals who they really are. Everyone is pleasant in the sunshine, but who
people are in the storms of life shows the stuff they are truly made of.
6.
The folks who are with you in the storms are your
true friends. The identity of your
true friends just may surprise you.
7.
Everyone faces storms at one time or
another. If they don’t, they’re
lying, or they are sociopathic. (Either
way, it’s not good.)
8.
Never allow your day-to-day happiness be
determined by the happiness, approval, or decisions of another person. No one can make you happy but YOU, and no one
can make you unhappy unless you let them.
9.
Actions speak louder than words. Words are important, but mean little if
actions do not back them up.
10. We
waste a lot of time comparing ourselves to others, but the truth is, most
people know even less about what they’re doing in life than you do. Live your life, take chances, and go for it. Nobody’s got this life thing totally wired,
we’re all winging it. If people think
they’ve got their “shizz” totally together, they are faking it. I've got zero time for fake people, life’s too
short.
11. Don’t
spend time with people who make you feel crappy. Just don’t. Energy vampires do not get to rent a room in
your boarding house. Kick them out.
12. Get
up, get dressed, and get moving. No
matter what.
13. It’s
never too late to start over.
14. Fear is a tranquilizer gun that paralyzes
you. Face that 3-headed monster head-on,
because you have everything within you that you need to defeat it. It’s like the Wizard Of Oz behind the
curtain. The things you are most afraid
of are much smaller than you can possibly imagine. Most fears are irrational,
and 99.9% of them never come to pass.
15. If
something (or someone) enriches your life, find a way to GET MORE OF THAT! Make room for the things and people that feed
your soul and bring you joy.
16. Whatever
you expected to happen won’t happen at all like you expected it to. In fact, sometimes it’s completely off the
map.
17. Blessed
are the flexible, for they shall not be broken.
Roll with it.
18. Every
day is a blank page, and we get to write our own story. Develop your leading character - that's you! We can reinvent ourselves again and again.
19. If
you’re not the starring role in your own life story, something is TOTALLY out
of whack. No one should be a supporting
actor in their own life story. Don’t
give up your leading role to anybody else.
It’s YOUR life.
20. Mind,
body, soul and spirit are completely connected.
If one area is unwell or exhausted, it affects all other areas. Balance is the key to complete health.
21. Keeping secrets, even for the greater good, is toxic, unhealthy, demeaning, and destroys your self-esteem. Do your best to live above the secret
zone.
22. Anything worthwhile is never, ever
going to be easy. If something is easily gained, it’s
probably not worth having. Fight hard
for the things that are worth fighting for.
23. The first step to knowing what you want is
learning what you DON’T want. Determine
exactly what you DON'T want, and the things you DO want will begin to take
shape.
24. It is very possible to get the flu just in time
for Christmas when you are supposed to host your family for Christmas
dinner. Refer to #16 & #17 when this
happens.
25. No one can drive forward successfully while
staring in the rear-view mirror. YOUR
PAST DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE. Eyes
forward, keep moving.
The best is yet to come.
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